Rules for dating my son meme best tennis dating site
If you like it, feel free to share it, but make sure you tell the truth about who wrote it, or I'll have to come, ummmm..... If my son gathers his courage and asks you for a date, this is not an opportunity to run all your errands with my car. You will find your feet hitting the pavement faster than your gum-snapping mouth can shriek "What?? "I am aware that it is considered fashionable for girls of your age to wear their shirts with the bottom half ripped off, where any sudden movement threatens to expose yourself to any casual passerby or with necklines so low that your breasts nearly tumble out, so, please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete moronic sluts.
Sweetie, you will not ask him to take you on any little side trips to anywhere, especially the mall, where he will be expected to tag along after you as you use him first as your personal chauffeur, then as your bearer for your packages. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with breasts hanging out, and looking like you are trying out for a job with Hugh Heffner, and I will not object.
Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car-there is no need for you to come inside. s father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter? He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter? If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home.
I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight.
I have no real problems with your basic pierced eyebrow, nose, lip, tongue or belly button, honest, but be aware that, with only the most helpful of intentions, I also have a rather large pair of pliers in my toolbox. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my son.
Otherwise, once you have gone out with my darling boy, you will continue to date no one but him until you come to an amicable agreement to separate.
You may even be using one of these methods, "just in case". Well, I'd like to offer one wee extra bit of information for your general edification - if you even THINK of touching my son in an intimate fashion, I will break every bone in your hands - no questions asked - just to helpfully remind you of my favorite method of contraception, which is this nifty "new" idea called "abstinence" until marriage...
I have noted that the recent fashions have tended towards piercing various, shall we say, "interesting" body parts. )I have no doubt you are a popular girl, and you may have the entire football team panting after you.
If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter? Rule Three: I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. t take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Seven: As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is ? Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.
Rule One: If you pull into my driveway and honk you? You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. re stupid, or did you merely want to APPEAR stupid?? Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
As a dad, I have some basic rules, which I have carved into two stone tablets that I have on display in my living room. Rule Two: You do not touch my daughter in front of me. Rule Five: In order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is ? Rule Six: I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls.
We're not even going to mention things that can be injected, are we?
If I ever even think you have even a small glimmer of intent to educate my son regarding these substances, I will be educating Officer Krupky about your general existence, just to be helpful, and insure your general good health...